Wacky Things 2nd Graders Say :)

Wow! It's been exactly one year to the day since my last blog post...oops. (I assure you, the timing wasn't intentional!) Life has been incredibly busy as usual in the Deming household and, unfortunately, writing has mostly taken a backseat during this time.  However, as I wrap up my second year working as a special education para at our local elementary school, I wanted to drop in quickly and share this school year's collection of wacky sayings - this time from 2nd grade. (Check out 1st grade's post here) Not a day goes by without me either laughing or suppressing a laugh at something a student says! There's also a lot of 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ moments:)

So once again, here's a few memorable highlights to maybe bring a smile to your face, just as it did mine. Please note, names have been changed to protect the innocent ;P

An eye-opening moment for me:

Johnny: Is the other Miss Deming who works here your sister? 

Me: Yep. 

Johnny: The one with black hair? 

Me: Yea, she's my little sister. 

Johnny: (skeptical) But how come her skin is different from yours? 

Me: Because she's actually from Guatemala. 

Cue the jaw-drop

Johnny: Then how is she your sister??

Me: Because she's adopted. 

Johnny: (Thoroughly confused) What is 'adopted?'

Me: (mentally slapping my forehead as I come to the startling realization that not every young child has been exposed to unique family makeups) It means that when she was a little baby, she needed a family and my parents decided to make her part of our family forever. 

Johnny: Ooooh! That's so cool!!

Inside recess with Legos:

Karl: Miss Deming, Look at my giant Lego man! 

Me: Hey, it's Goliath

Karl: Who's Goliath? 

Me: A giant man in the Bible who fought against God's people. 

Karl: Oh. You wanna know what I would say if I had to fight him? 🎶🎵"Jesus take the wheel"🎵🎶... cuz I'm out. Nope, not doing it. 

Me: 😄 

Karl: (totally straight faced) But I'd probably poop my pants first😶

Me: 🤦🏻‍♀️

At the end of the day:

Tommy: What happened to your lipstick

Me: It faded

Joey: (dramatically) Like my heart

Me: 🤦🏻‍♀️

Outside Recess:

Brie: Miss Deming! I can do headstand without a wall

Me: That's awesome, girlie! I can't even do cartwheel

Brie: I can hold a headstand for hours and hours! 

Me: 😶

Brie: (Shrugging) Well, not hours I guess. But lots of minutes 

Me: Wow!

Brie: (giggling) Actually, I can only hold it for seconds. 60 seconds is my highest score. 

Middle school fieldtrip:

Kristian: (walking past the police officer holding the door): "Hullo officer!" 

Officer: Hey man, how's it going? 

Kristian: Good. I haven't done anything bad today. 

Officer: (Straight-faced) Huh...that's not what I heard.

Kristian laughs nervously and looks at me as if I had ratted him out for earlier conflict at recess 😄 

Encounter with a student walking to classroom after getting an icepack for his knee

Me: Did you fall? 

Benny: (Winking at me) yea...for you 😉 

Me: get back to class, goofball.

Me inwardly: 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Walking student down the hall to the bathroom:

Dylan: Miss Deming, what do you call the man in the bathroom?" 

Me: Do I want to know? 

2nd grader: (gleefully) a 'you're-a-peein' (European) 

Me: 🤦🏻‍♀️

Quiet reading time:

Freddy: (seriously) Miss Deming, will you forget me in 10 years?

Me: (Genuinely) No

Freddy: What about 10 months?

Me: Nope

Freddy: What about 10 weeks? Me: (Wondering where this is headed) Definitely not

Freddy: 10 days?

Me: Of course not.

Freddy: 10 minutes?

Me: Nada

Freddy: 10 seconds?

Me: No way.

He walks away a few feet as if satisfied, then comes back over.

Freddy: Miss Deming?

Me: What's up?

Freddy: What's my name?

Me: (amused) Freddy.

Throws his arms around me in a bear hug and fake happy-cries

Freddy: You didn't forget me!!!

Other funnies with second graders:

• The child who gave me a giant hug and then announced they puked right before school.

• The child who licked the frosting off a birthday treat cupcake and then very sincerely offered me the cake part of it that they didn't like.

• The child who, very exasperatedly, asked me: 'Why are you the way you are?" after I made a silly comment - not unlike ones he makes quite regularly.

• The astronomical ages they guess me at - some genuinely and some in an attempt to get-my-goat: 61, 84, 39,103, 56, 63, 97. So I just guess them at 1 or 2, which to them highly offensive 😄