Wacky Things 1st Graders Say :)

As some of you know, Maleah and I job share a position as special education associates at one of our local elementary schools. While we were both nervous going into it, it has turned out to be a wonderful fit for us, and we love the days we get to work. I work M/W/F and she covers Tues/Thurs. It's been a little interesting for the kiddos to work out the concept of having two Miss Demings, but they've solved it by either referring to whichever of us isn't working as 'the other Miss Deming' or by calling Maleah - Miss Deming #2 (which I think is absolutely adorable). We work in two general education classrooms (both 1st grade) assisting children who need extra help/supervision throughout the day. This age is incredibly fun to hang out with because you can have reasonable conversations, but most of the children still have a sense of innocence about them and can wiggle their way into your heart incredibly fast. One thing I learned on day one is that 1st graders are unpredictable and haven't learned the art of self-censoring, meaning they can say some pretty wacky things :)

Here's a few memorable highlights to maybe bring a smile to your face, just as it did mine:

First day of students, waiting with the line of 1st graders who get picked up by their parents.

Little Gal: Do you have a car?

Me: Nah, I use my Mom’s car.

Little Gal (totally shocked expression): You have a mom?!?

Me (trying not to laugh): Yes, I do have a mom. Just like you.

Little Gal: How do you have a mom?

Me: Why wouldn’t I have a mom? (Jesus answered questions with questions, so I can too, LOL.)

Little Gal: (giggling): I don’t know. 

*****

Last week, greeting my little 1st grade friends upon their arrival.

Me: Good morning, Dude. How are you? 

Little Guy: That’s weird jacket.

Me: Whaddya mean it’s weird…it’s just a normal jean jacket.

Little Guy (wrinkling his nose): That’s sus.

Me (trying not to laugh at teenage slang coming out of the mouth of a 6 year old): Really? Why is it sus?

Little Guy: It just is. How can you wear a jacket that is made out of jeans?

Me: It’s not really made out of jeans. It’s made out of denim, which is the same material that jeans are made out of. Just like sweatshirts are made from the same kind of fabric that comfy sweatpants are made from.

Little Guy: Oh. That’s weird.

 *****

Same child, couple days later in morning lineup again.

Little Guy: I like your outfit, Miss Deming. It looks like it’s from some fancy place. Was it expensive?

Me: Well, it was only like $7 on clearance at Walmart, so… it was pretty cheap actually.

Little Guy: What!?! It looks like it should have costed a bunch of money!

 *****

Cleanup time before lining up for lunch:

Little Gal: Miss Deming!

Me: What’s up, Sweetheart?

Little Gal: Did you know your sister works here?

Me (feigning surprise): No way! Are you sure?

Little Gal: Yeah! She works in our classroom too, but only on the days you aren’t here.

*****

Later the same day, with the same little girl, while lining up for the bus.

Little Gal: How do you tell you and the other Miss Deming apart? (Keep in mind readers, that Maleah is adopted from Guatemala. We don't look anything like each other! Lol...)

Me: Do you think we look like each other?

Little Gal 2 (jumping in from nearby): Miss Deming #2 is shorter.

Little Gal 3: And she has shorter black hair. It gets really curly and crazy at recess, especially when it’s windy. (giggles)

 *****

Other random wacky comments from children over the last month:

Someone puked on my shoes this morning…and they were brand new! (Gross! How's that for a great first day of school memory? Poor guy.)

My big brother sleeps naked and my Dad sleeps buck naked. (Uhh...thank you for that information? And I do hope I never meet your Dad in the after-school pick-up line. Lol...)

You’re so tall and skinny, like SlenderMan (Upon a very brief Google search, I’ve decided that while the first part could be a compliment, I don’t like being compared to a creepy, pasta humanoid with no facial features who delights in scaring (and even abducting) children.)

My pee is white. (Once again...uh, thank you for that information?)

Mommy drives a wed soo-buh-woo (Little kid pronunciation can be so adorable!)

I didn’t know teachers could go down the slides! (It’s a great ego booster when a group of 2nd grade girls declare you the best recess teacher ever because you shocked them by doing the monkey bars and slides, LOL)